Happiness is one feeling we all want as human beings, it’s something that is available to all of us, it’s not something that is determined by the amount of wealth someone possesses, it’s also not something you buy and store up, though you can buy things with the hope that they will bring you happiness, but you can’t buy happiness itself.
Happiness is an emotional feeling, it’s characterized by many emotional states like comfort, contentment , joyous, etc. Happiness originates from internal aspects of our being, not external. It is determined by our mental faculty in which our mind is the head, mostly by the kind of data we feed our mental faculty through our five senses.
Happiness in its nature is free, it’s something anyone, regardless of status in life, can enjoy by creating the right state for it. It’s something we have to create for ourselves.
It’s not an every moment thing, hoping for happiness to be an every moment thing is like downgrading what life is all about, life is full of ups and downs, some days we will struggle and other days we will thrive.
But our ultimate goal is to have more happy moments than unhappy moments. While we hope on experiencing more happy moments, what we should not do is sabotage our chances of experiencing happiness.
After taking introspective and retrospective analysis of myself I have discovered that whenever I do any of these 5 things I feel more unhappy, I suggest you stop doing them if you wish to experience more happiness in life.
1. Stop counting social media likes
While social media have proven to be blessing to our generation in terms of connecting all of us together, it also has disadvantage.
We are living in an era where people value social media likes more than any other thing out there.
These days, people get more worried when their likes drop, or are not getting more likes.
To help you manage your emotion around social media likes, you should understand that there are factors that define how contents in social media platforms works, if you don’t understand this you will always find yourself in a situation where you always feel you are losing your status or some people are no more happy with you because they have stopped clicking the like button on your post.
For example, some changes and updates on social media platforms might have made it impossible for people to stop seeing your post and yet you might get worried all day over it. There are many other factors that might be considered here
But even at that, you shouldn’t charge your happiness bank with social media likes, social media likes doesn’t and shouldn’t define who you are, so don’t allow it to define your happiness.
2. Stop waiting for people’s validation
Don’t depend on thumbs up to be happy, If you always wait for people to tell you how beautiful you are, how handsome you are, or that you are right, or that you are smart, you might end up being unhappy all the rest of your life.
One of my greatest discovery about life is that human beings are naturally selfish, while there are few people who have lived beyond themselves, we all have a natural instincts to care more about ourselves than others.
Understanding that we are naturally selfish should not prompt you to fight yourself over it, it’s something that will help you understand the fact that nobody cares about you as you can towards yourself.
Some times you have to be your own cheerleader, because your own thinking, your emotions and reaction is what you have absolute control over. You can’t control how other people feel, think or react, that is one reason you don’t have to depend on other people to validate you, doing so is like travelling through a short cut to unhappiness.
You need to always validate yourself, that way it’s easy to experience more happiness, then whenever validation comes from other people it becomes and added advantage to boost your overall happiness.
3. Stop trying to please everyone
Don’t even try this, because if you do, you would have set yourself on the path that leads to everlasting unhappiness.
Just look at the teachers of the past, people whom have reformed lives and have sustained civilization, most of them still have criticism, meaning they weren’t able to please everyone.
We are all made of different substance, in the sense that we have different genes, grow up in different environments, different faith and attended different schools.
Understanding this will help you get the fact that whatever your opinion is about an issue, some people will agree with you, some will be neutral and some will hate and despise you. If you understand this you will be in more control of your happiness than ever.
4. Stop looking for whom to blame
You can never be happy when you are always looking for whom to blame for your misfortune or mistakes.
You can never be happy harbouring the thought that someone is responsible for your mistakes.
Sometimes accepting that it’s all your fault, and even admitting that you are stupid and laughing out loud over your stupidity can help you reach the state of happiness faster than blaming people.
5. Stop dwelling in the past
The past is called the past because it’s in the past, there’s a reason why it’s in the past.
The problem is when we don’t think of the brightness the future possibly have in stock for us and also neglect the beauty and privilege of the present.
You can’t be happy when you always go to your past to tug an injury that has almost healed. Why not use the experience which you have gained from the injury and which you already posses in the present to create more happy moments for yourself.
As I finish writing this article, I have come to realize that there are things I need to do and also stop doing in other to create more happy moments for myself, I hope you do too, i mean realise what to stop and what to do.
If you find this post valuable, please share it with your friends, they might love to read it and I will appreciate it too.
Emmanuel Onyewuchi is a Writer, Digital Marketer, Consultant, Trainer, Founder Digitaltopnotch Academy, Blogger @ digitaltopnotch.com. He is also the guy that want kindness, love and peace to go viral, if he is not writing or creating training and courses he is probably watching soccer, reading, learning or travelling.