That feeling inside of you that makes you come alive, don’t outsource it.
Outsourcing your self-esteem is all about giving people or things the privilege to always detect how you feel about yourself.
Since 6000 years man has recorded history it has never been this easier for people to dash out their self-esteem to people or things that barely matters or give a dam about them.
One of the tools that have made this possible is social media.
It’s surprising how people spend so much time counting likes and comments on social media, likes and comments seem to be more important to some people than living their life. Most times this likes and comment detect if they will be happy or not.
For most people their thoughts pattern is always something like this, “I don’t have enough like on this post maybe I’m not beautiful here” or “nobody commented they don’t like me”
Some time ago, I sent a page link to some of my Facebook friends requesting them to connect with my page so that my post can reach them, a respond someone gave me shocked me. she painted clearly to me how most people have come to value likes on their post.
People do spend lots of time monitoring their post, observing how many comments and likes have shown up.
That is the easiest way for you to sell out your self-esteem, judging your beauty and worth by numbers of like and comments.
To understand how to preserve your self-esteem you need to understand human nature, humans are naturally selfish, expecting people to put you first will only have your hope dash to the wall. People will always put themselves first; no-one really, I mean really, cares about you.
Your self-esteem should be preserved and fueled internally not external. You need to find what ignites you, what makes you come alive and always hold on to it for motivation. It’s different for many people. For some, it’s the good look they know they have, some it’s the shape they know they possess, some it’s the abilities they have, etc.
Your self-esteem should always come from within; THE PARTY SHOULD BE WHERE YOU ARE not at where someone easy is, or on social media. You should be the one hosting your self-esteem, not the other way round. What you want should be what you want, not because the environment has manipulated you to want what they feel is important, and that you should want it.
The worst thing you will do is to measure the greatness or awesomeness in you by people’s opinions or clicks and comments, you will be disappointed don’t allow those things to drain your esteem.
One of our greatest mistakes is trying to make everyone like us, shaping our actions to fit into the like and plans of people or the environment, that is the greatest source of self-esteem drainer.
One thing you can do for yourself is doing the things that you want to do, manufacturing your own happiness, your own self-esteem.
The best source of happiness is doing things by our own constitution. That is Emotional Independent.
Emmanuel Onyewuchi is a Writer, Digital Marketer, Consultant, Trainer, Founder Digitaltopnotch Academy, Blogger @ digitaltopnotch.com. He is also the guy that want kindness, love and peace to go viral, if he is not writing or creating training and courses he is probably watching soccer, reading, learning or travelling.